Being the Questions Frequently Asked of Prince Carton of Amber Akihara: I will not kill you, but only so long as you speak concretely. Carton: Then I'm in trouble.

Q: Who's your daddy?
A: King Martin the (Presumably) First.

Q: Wha'cha gonna do when you get out of jail?
A: I'm gonna have some fun!

Q: What's so funny 'bout peace, love and understanding?
A: Considering that this is an Amber campaign, quite a lot.

Q: How long has this been going on?
A: Nate announced his intention to run an Amber campaign around the beginning of 2001. Carton was born of desperation - a hard birth - in Bill Dowling's apartment a few weeks later.

Q: Why do fools fall in love?
A: That would be because Carton has made a specialty of learning how to inveigle fools.

Q: What do you get when you fall in love?
A: If you fall in love with Carton you get a good, if physically stressful, time, a sore bottom, and discarded.

Q: Why'd you do what you did?
A: There are a number of incidents you might be referring to:

Why did Carton gratuitously destroy Theodore's portrait at the banquet that began the campaign?

Jealousy, pure and simple.

Why did Carton sneak off with young Dolly, a possibly crucial witness to the attempted murder of his father, and maybe even a co-conspirator?

1) His siblings seemed to have the situation well in hand. 2) Carton didn't especially care if someone wanted to kill his father.

Why did Carton give away Dexter's presence on the ship to Antioch?

Something about Dexter just pisses Carton off.

Wasn't that pretty stupid to fall for the old anesthetic-in-the-hooker's-vagina trick?

It shows what happens when you don't stick to your principles. Despite what you have heard, Carton is no sex fiend - it is the seduction of the innocent and the waylaying of the faithful that he lives for. For Carton's taste, there's entirely too much dignity in the mutual exchange of cash for pleasure that constitutes prostitution.

Why did Carton play footsie with Amber's enemies in Antioch and Ghenesh?

A number of reasons - Carton was keeping his options open. But more than anything, he thought it very possible that his mother, Cassandra, was behind the threats to Amber. The choice between his mother and his father would be an easy one.

And was Carton's mother behind the threats to Amber?

No.

Why didn't Carton work harder to convince Theodore Amber was being invaded?

If you look closely, I think you'll see that this one has already been answered.

Why did Carton seduce the twins from Tick-Tock and their mother; then, as it was so delicately put, "help[ed] the twins bring out their Romantic natures by debauching them with increasingly depraved sex acts and getting them hooked on hard drugs?"

1) Everybody needs a hobby. 2) Revenge on Theodore. 3) Hey, it might really put them in touch with their Romantic natures!

Seems awfully spiteful.

Clue shipment came today, did it?

Q: Is Carton really crazy?
A: Do bears have souls?

Q: Isn't Carton's clubfoot emblematic of the familiar able-ist libel - that physical deformity symbolizes a crippled soul?
A: Hey, look at the time! Gotta go!

Q: Carton's full brother Gustav thinks Carton is nuts to believe their mother is still alive, doesn't he?
A: Gustav has issues.

Q: What did Carton tell his mother when he found her?
A: That he hated Amber and hated his father.

Q: Is there anything he, you know, left out?
A: It should be pretty obvious he hates his mother too, maybe even more.

Q: But you said that if it were a choice between his mother and his father, Carton would choose his mother almost automatically! And he's treated her with great tenderness!
A: People are a puzzle to you, aren't they?